Welcome to Joomla!

If you've read anything at all about Content Management Systems (CMS), you'll probably know at least three things: CMS are the most exciting way to do business, CMS can be really, I mean really, complicated and lastly Portals are absolutely, outrageously, often unaffordably expensive.

Joomla! LogoJoomla! is set to change all that ... Joomla! is different from the normal models for portal software. For a start, it's not complicated. Joomla! has been developed for the masses. It's licensed under the GNU/GPL license, easy to install and administer and reliable. Joomla! doesn't even require the user or administrator of the system to know HTML to operate it once it's up and running.

Joomla! features:

  • Completely database driven site engines
  • News, products or services sections fully editable and manageable
  • Topics sections can be added to by contributing authors
  • Fully customisable layouts including left, center and right menu boxes
  • Browser upload of images to your own library for use anywhere in the site
  • Dynamic Forum/Poll/Voting booth for on-the-spot results
  • Runs on Linux, FreeBSD, MacOSX server, Solaris and AIX

Extensive Administration:

  • Change order of objects including news, FAQs, articles etc.
  • Random Newsflash generator
  • Remote author submission module for News, Articles, FAQs and Links
  • Object hierarchy - as many sections, departments, divisions and pages as you want
  • Image library - store all your PNGs, PDFs, DOCs, XLSs, GIFs and JPEGs online for easy use
  • Automatic Path-Finder. Place a picture and let Joomla! fix the link
  • News feed manager. Choose from over 360 news feeds from around the world
  • Archive manager. Put your old articles into cold storage rather than throw them out
  • Email-a-friend and Print-format for every story and article
  • In-line Text editor similar to Word Pad
  • User editable look and feel
  • Polls/Surveys - Now put a different one on each page
  • Custom Page Modules. Download custom page modules to spice up your site
  • Template Manager. Download templates and implement them in seconds
  • Layout preview. See how it looks before going live
  • Banner manager. Make money out of your site



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None of this has anything to do with us, someone else is responsible for the entire thing, and we have no idea who or why. We do not know anything about it. It may be alien life forms for all we know: we haven't a clue. You cannot blame us for anything that may result from your visit. That was entirely your own personal choice, made by you of your own volition, and without our knowledge. We do not, after all, have any control over you and cannot by any stretch of the imagination be expected to accept or acknowledge, be it legally or morally, any accountability for decisions made by you on an independent basis, utilizing your own free will, and without our intervention. We are therefore in no way, shape, or form answerable to anyone for any consequences arising from the aforementioned or indeed any other actions, similar or otherwise, because it was not us that did, or did not do anything. It is not even remotely our fault, and we are in no way prepared or willing to accept any liability, not even slightly, ever. We are, in fact completely and utterly blameless, in that it is definitely not our concern, and no blame can possibly be laid at our doorstep, even if we had one, the possession of which we hereby reserve as being entirely our own free choice. The onus is not on us at all, and furthermore, never has been. The entire matter is wholly beyond our control, and completely out of our hands, each of which are washed scrupulously clean of the whole business. We are not accountable for anything at all, and we hereby categorically deny all responsibility for all that has ever, or will ever happen. Our innocence is therefore wholly beyond doubt and absolutely unimpeachable, and so cannot, under even the remotest or unlikeliest circumstances, be brought into question. By clicking either on a link on this site, clicking on a link that leads to this site, or by arriving at this site by natural or supernatural means, you are in effect accepting responsibility for the fact that it is all entirely your own fault, down to the most miniscule detail, and that you are wholly accountable for whatever outcome may arise as a consequence of the aforementioned action or actions insofar as they were undertaken personally by you on an entirely voluntary basis and without any persuasion, coercion or influence from any party or parties other than yourself. Don't come sniveling to us, we are only figments of your imagination. I also agree that if I am ever with a contributor to this website during mealtimes I agree to pay for any super-sizing of their meal, or at least a nice dessert or one of those foo-foo drinks with an umbrella or a monkey. By admitting to have seen the worthless spineless drivel on this website (also known as content)

I Agree Wholeheartedly and Without Reservation to the above. (Except maybe for that part about the monkey.)

All Your Base Are Belong To Us.

Soylent Green Is People!

Never make a bet with a Sicilian when Death is on the Line!

No. Really, I do agree.